Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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