That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize