I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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