Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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