I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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