i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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