u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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