Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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