I think I died a long time ago.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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