Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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