Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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