so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize