i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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