I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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