Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize