I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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