So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize