I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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