Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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