i was born a porn star she said
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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