It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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