Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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