There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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