Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i jhust puked up my retainher.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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(518): View more from New York

The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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(770): View more from Georgia

He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.

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(361): View more from Texas

remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.

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