he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize