I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
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I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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