Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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