I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize