I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize