Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize