Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
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The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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