oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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