I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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