So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize