I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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