Buhtt sex?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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