So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize