My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize