I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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