Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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