Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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