one might say we're banned from that church
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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