just tell him i said nine months
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize