cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize