Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize