Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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