It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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