He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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