I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize