I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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